Processing infatuation

Insights of an addled brain

I have a pulling hook-like sensation that originates about 5 cm under my solar plexus. I feel a restless energy and struggle with paying attention. My mind wanders, connecting random situations to a person that lives in Dalarna. I’ve met her for a few hours, we got along swimmingly, and now my brain’s default mode is obsessively trying to make me spend more time with her. I’m not even fertile, but that’s not a problem for an adaption-executor.

I’m grateful that there’s very little ambiguity in the situation. I’ve been radically honest about the whole shebang, with mixed results. She seems to like me, in a non-obsessive manner, but has limited capacity for romantic entanglements.

[…]

I just had a brilliant insight¹ - it might be reasonable to try to stop being infatuated. Not being obsessive seems like a reasonable course of action, especially given the constraints imposed by the lack of romantic capacity.

I’m glad I finally got around to writing about this, when I tried handling it in a dialogue setting there were all kinds of not-being-overbearing concerns that stymied the necessary insights.

Part of me feels really good about letting go a bit. I think this course of action will get me some much-needed slack. This is good since it makes stopping being infatuated a more desirable course of action. And the best way to stop being infatuated is

1. Radical honesty, removing ambiguity, and;

2. Accepting logistical constraints², removing unreasonable hopes & wishes.

Finally, I want to pose the following question to myself: “Isn’t life about following your passions?”. To this, I say: “Only if you pick them carefully”.³

1. Brilliant for an infatuation-addled brain

2. Let’s not make any large lifestyle changes based on a hormonal reaction.

3. Fuck romanticism